As I stated in a previous blog, this is not my first time with MKMMA.  I been successful in many things since I have taken this on but now I face the greatest challenge.  There has been a block in my way and I have struggled in finding the answer as to what stops me.  This block has stopped me these last few weeks and I have fallen behind but the block is more clear now than it ever has been.  It is being revealed to me.  It has brought me to this song by Simon & Grafunkel, ‘I Am a Rock’ and it describes me so well as to the way I have lived my life.  I experienced pain and grief very young and it also established lack of trust in people.  My answer was to build walls, to never let anyone know what I was thinking or if I was hurt, all hend and protected within the fortress I built.  It is a song of strengtht but also isolation.  The last words are ‘And a rock feels no pain And an island never cries.’  which is a great untruth as there have been many tears in my isolation.  The fortress has provided strength but has kept me from many other things.  So my job now is how to I scale the walls of this fortress I have built to live the life of my dreams.  I am not confined within my fortress, I am find myself on the outside of these walls I built.  So the work begins, to take down the walls and find my solutions within.  It is a daunting task and this is my purpose, here and now.

Advertisements